Anyway, it's Monday. The 5th day of summer vacation. Crummy lousy day 5!!!! Out of 76 days (yes, I have them counted exactly).
And ohhhhhhhhh did I have big elaborate plans for our daily schedule of LOTS OF FUN MOMMY & KID TIME! I was following my brilliant Summer 2012 plan (even though I only successfully did Screen Time Tuesdays and a few surprise Wednesdays) but I was going to do ALL of them this year and be SuperFunMom Of The Galaxy!!
But I was high. Plain and simple. Stupidly, insanely high. And I didn't even inhale! (j/k)
Actually, today was only the FIRST day of my Big Family Fun Summer Schedule. Crummy lousy day ONE! And I began to realize what a crock of baloney it was at about 11:30am. I didn't even make it to lunch.
Mondays were to be Park-It Mondays where we'd go and discover a new park or playground every week. It would be SOOOO glorious, this precious time with my cherubs. Time that I couldn't let go to waste, time I could never have again with them…
….THANK GOODNESS!! 'Cause I don't WANT it back!!
It wasn't ALL the kids' fault, though. It WAS about 164 degrees today with ridiculous humidity. We lasted at the park for about 11 minutes. But first, here they all are sitting on their tushies on the ONLY playground bench in the shade. *I*, however, was obediently sitting IN THE BLASTED MELTING SUN where THEY begged me to sit so I could see every wonderfully entertaining playground move they made. *grits teeth and repeats to self: Precious time, time I can't get back, precious time, time I can't back….*
Yeah, that wasn't working out so well for me, so I packed 'em back in the car and told them they could go home and play in the sprinklers. Which they love. Which I absolutely detest. Because EVERY time, EVERY time, EVERY BLIPPIN' TIME they end up getting the entire backyard muddy and wet (including me), and fighting and crying and screaming and wailing:
"You squirted me in the eye! Waaaaaaah!"
"Shelby, you broke the rocket! Waaaaaah!"
"Noah, don't run through MY stream! Waaaaaaaah!"
"Mommy! Connor broke the water! Waaaaaah!"
"Shelby, you broke the rocket! Waaaaaah!"
"Noah, don't run through MY stream! Waaaaaaaah!"
"Mommy! Connor broke the water! Waaaaaah!"
They don't care if they step in dog poop, but OH NO, do NOT run through Connor's water stream! What!??!!
So, THAT activity lasted another 11 minutes before I forced them all screaming into the house, into dry clothes and into their rooms until further notice. I then stomped upstairs and informed Mark (whose home office is now in our master closet where he can remain oblivious to the screams while I suffer through the brutal agony that is known to moms everywhere as "summer vacation") that I was going to Taco Bell for MY lunch and then I was going to watch the Kardashians ALONE in SILENCE. Mark wisely didn't argue.
A few blissful, mind-numbing minutes into the Kardashians with my Burrito Supreme, I came to the realization that my daily summer schedule definitely was a crock of crap and was in no way sustainable. I could NOT be with my precious little screaming
HELLO Wii. My precious.
Welcome back to our home. YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED. By ME, most of all.
After finishing my burrito (but not the Kardashians, so don't judge me as harshly as you were a moment ago), I went back upstairs and told Mark we needed to have a talk, and I explained that this summer would not be survivable if we didn't buy a new Wii (our old one had been dead for about 2 years and we'd never replaced it, vowing to be super-fantastic parents who didn't succumb to the video game babysitter - bwa ha. As if!).
Again, Mark wisely agreed (turns out he COULD hear the screams, the kids AND mine, despite being in an interior room with no windows and with the door closed), so we all piled into the car and headed for Toys-R-Us, where the gargoyles behaved strangely excellently, and even arranged themselves neatly into this sandbox. I couldn't resist the photo opportunity. Three kids for just $49.99! But I'll entertain all offers (sandbox not included, sorry).
On the way home we were listening to church music (irritating to me at the time, but it was either that or Dave Ramsey) when I noticed Shelby was in the backseat clinging to her beloved three-headed dragon, swaying to the music, and singing along to "In a Little While We'll Be With the Father" by Amy Grant. Here's a video:
Well, if that can't melt the maddest Mommy heart, then I don't know what will.
And here's another sight to warm a Mommy's heart - a working Wii! - sing ALLLLLLLELUYAH! Alleluyaaaaaah! - , replacing the 3:00-4:30pm time slot of Mommy-one-on-one-time (and kindly ignore the messy living room, yes, I have lost all control of my house and my kids and my temper).
30 minutes later update: As I am finishing typing this entry, there are now screams coming from the living room.
"Shelby! I want to be the pink Kirby! Waaaaaaah!"
"Connor, quit beating me! Waaaaaaah!"
"Mommy! Noah is cheating! Waaaaaah!"
All three kids are now back in their rooms. The brand new shiny beautiful Wii is sitting useless.
!^@$%&^#%$^&#@$&^^#@&^*&@#^$&*!!&Q#*&!!!!!!!!!!
We all know those days - you are just brave enough to share! (and we love you for it!) My mantra on those days is "this too shall pass" sometimes I wonder if they'll pass soon enough. Unfortunately, yes, yes, they do. I now have only one at home with me this week. He's bored without his brother to fight with and it is a little too quiet for me after years and years of loud. Thanks for sharing your wisdom/humor with us, we all need you so we are glad you are back blogging!
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