Sunday, March 15, 2015

Friday the 13th - And HEY, they ASKED for it!!

So, I've been wanting to revive my family blog and this activity is the perfect one to kick off the revival!

Connor's been begging to do something REALLY exciting and different for a Friday the 13th, instead of just watching Goosebumps episodes.  And I myself would REALLY like to not watch any more Goosebumps episodes myself!  Or Monster House, which for some inexplicable reason Shelby LOVES. 

So, you know I aim to please as a parent.  I kicked it up a notch.  Or two.  Or two thousand…

We started off with dinner at the Brae Loch Inn restaurant at Cazenovia Lake, built in 1805 and rumored to be haunted.  EXCELLENT.  :)


That made for lots of great dinner ghost stories, especially since we were seated in a little dark cave-like booth and the ONLY light kept flickering.  EXCELLENT.  :)


Noah, however, didn't think anything about this restaurant was excellent.  He spent much of dinner huddled by Mark or hiding under the table (as in photo below). 


Shelby, on the other hand, was delighted to discover a pink ghost hovering in her photo!  We didn't tell her that was actually Mark's thumb on the phone camera lens.


I told the kids that one of the ghosts was named Scotty and wore a kilt.  Shelby noticed that the restaurant host wore a kilt and became convinced he was a ghost and freaked out every time he walked by our table.   She finally worked up enough bravery to jump out at him (before I could stop her) and run over to him and poke him!  She told him she was checking to see if he was the ghost named Scotty.   Unfortunately (and obviously) he was NOT the ghost of Brae Loch Inn, BUT he did inform Shelby that his grandfather was named Scotty.   She then came back to our table, perplexed about how to break it to the host-guy that his grandfather was most likely a ghost. 


Shelby loves studying and interpreting restroom door signs and symbols for men and women. NO, I DON'T KNOW, don't ask.  Anyway, she was thrilled to come upon a women's sign she'd never before seen - Lassies!  After the photo opp, I sent her in so I could stay outside and knock and make scratching and growling noises to scare her (the not-Scotty host-guy gave me some strange looks).  Shelby was oblivious, though, because she'd discovered yet ANOTHER never-before-seen restroom feature - foot-pedal activated sinks, which she deemed even cooler than the new Dyson hand dryers at Cheesecake Factory.


The kids wanted to have photos of themselves alone in our "haunted" booth looking fake-scared (though Noah's face is pretty convincing).  Connor naturally had to photobomb Shelby's (second one down).  When we did Noah's (who surprisingly agreed!) after I shot the photo, we all hurried around the corner to wait and see how long it was for him to notice he was alone in the booth with no family in sight.  He shot out of the booth and around the corner to find us in about….a nanosecond?  Noah's never moved that fast in his life.




After dinner, we made a quick stop to the gift shop where I was hoping to find some cool ghost trinkets.  Noah found a kilt which he promptly became obsessed with and begged me to buy it, promising me that he'd wear it to school all the time.  To which I replied, "Yes, I KNOW you will, which is exactly why I'm NOT going to buy it for you!"  (and *insert huge sigh* yes, that IS Shelby and Connor hitting each other in the background of the photo) 

By the way, this is the last photo in which you'll see Noah smiling.


Our next stop was to take a drive on haunted Gulf Road in Chittenango.  EXCELLENT.  But then, WEH!  The road was closed!  Not to be stopped, I insisted we all get out and take a walk.  It WAS a creepy looking road and creepy mangled forest, I'll admit.  EXCELLENT.  :)



Noah did NOT think getting out of the car was an excellent idea.  I told him it was fine, he could wait in the car.  Alone.  By himself.  Again, only a nanosecond before he flew out of the car to be with us.



I'll admit that when I could barely see Shelby and Connor (who ran ahead), I became a TEENY bit concerned.   But then Mark and I ran back up to the car and pretended we were going to drive away.


Oh, and I guess playing the creepy noises and creature sounds from Five Nights at Freddys from a speaker hidden in my coat pocket MIGHT have taken it too far… I dunno….  


Connor (whose goal was to wear shorts every day this winter, and he did 95% of the time even during our Coldest Month Ever on Record in Syracuse February - hey, you know as parents you have to pick battles wisely and this was NOT a battle I picked this year) thought he could walk on top of the snow.  It was pretty darn funny when he started sinking…  EXCELLENT.  :)


NOW, WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU IS 100% TRUE.  As we were getting back to the car to leave, an empty Slurpee cup & lid hit Noah with a loud thwack!  OUT OF NOWHERE!


We cackled and cackled that the ghosts of Gulf Road had thrown it at him.  After all, there were rumors that people on this road had had rocks and sticks thrown at them.  No reports of Slurpee cups, though … UNTIL NOW.  EXCELLENT.  :)

Noah surveying the evidence that ghosts really DO have it in for him:


Next up, introducing our young, impressionable, innocent group of little kidlets to the horror video game that is sweeping the nation - Five Nights at Freddys.  Because I'm a good parent like that, you know.  And because I KNOW all the crap their friends were telling them about the game was making it HUGELY more scary than the game actually was.   We started with a couple of introductory YouTube videos.  Look at them hiding their faces as they watched.  Ha ha ha!!  EXCELLENT.  :)


They couldn't believe it when I told them they could actually play the game since for months I'd been telling them to forget it.  Connor was up first.  Here's Connor immediately dropping the iPad (hooked to the TV) and walking away after being jumpscared by Bonnie.  He was DONE. LIKE. DINNA.  HA HA!  It takes a LOT to get to Connor scared.  EXCELLENT!  :)


Here's Shelby and Noah watching Connor be jumpscared by Bonnie.  But seriously, why do people think this game is scary?  I thought it was kinda boring (so did Finneaus the cat, sitting by Noah).


At one point, I realized that I could USE Freddy to help me out with some kid discipline issues.  I'm a wise and resourceful parent like that.  I crafted a new picture to decorate our downstairs bathroom (our downstairs bathroom is stupidly located in the center of the house and I don't like my living room or office to smell, okay?!  Don't act like you don't institute weird house rules either, people!!!):


Our final Friday the 13th activity was to LARP (live action role play) Five Nights at Freddys.  We strapped on headlamps and grabbed a couple of stuffed animals and turned out the lights.  Here's security guards Connor and Shelby walking right past "Freddy."


Connor doing a jumpscare with "Freddy!"  EXCELLENT!  :)


I was disappointed that my new voice-changing gadget ("come find me, wimpy security guard!" set to "Monster Voice") did NOT scare the kids.  It DID scare the cats though!  Excellent enough for me.  :)

In the end, Noah only threw up 3 times.  And was awake until 3:00am.  And has begged us all day today to NEVER EVER celebrate Friday the 13th EVER again.  How will I tell him that I've already booked a hotel room in Buffalo on the 13th floor in Room 13 for Friday, November 13?  Oh, and I … uh…. I needs recs for a great child therapist?  Anyone?  I also need to ask Noah what he did with that Mother of the Year application I gave him to fill out, nominating me....


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Crap! These are out of order!

Everything is upside down!  I should have started with December first and finished with January.  How was I supposed to figure that out until it was too late?  ARG!!!!


March.

I'm sticking with my theme of "what do we do in the wintertime?" since March here is still very much wintertime. 

We spend about $100 on Monster Jam tickets only to leave 10 minutes later because the kids can't handle the noise.  All these newfangled "mommy" blogs talk about giving your kids experience MEMORIES as gifts and not toys, and SEE WHAT HAPPENS??? 



We get sick and have VERY bad hair days.


We go to restaurants and see how many forks we can stick out of our mouths.  Always a crowd-pleaser.


We go to the Mirror Maze and I'm confronted with the freakish, nauseating, terrifying nightmare of 100 Connors and 100 Shelbys surrounding me.  (Thank goodness Noah was outside with the ticket taker because he was too scared to go in and puked in the trash can.)


We play video games while sitting in boxes with cats.  Wait, what do you mean you don't do that??  Huh?


And sometimes we're unusually cute and get along with our siblings and do normal things like build stuff with Legos.  :)







February.

Ever wonder what people in the Northeast do in the doldrums of winter?   We build forts and look cute for all of 2 seconds before we poke each other in the behinds with the sticks and throw the balls at the ceiling and get the fort kit taken away:


We then make old-fashioned box & blanket forts that we don't want to share with our brother and sister:


We leave menacing notes about stealing scarves.  Because her brothers just MIGHT be tempted to steal her My Little Pony scarf.  Whatevs, Shelby.


We see way too many movies (find the hidden Noah if you can!):


We attend Cub Scout functions where Noah decides he wants to represent the Sudan.  Wha?!?  What kind of weird 8 year old kid wants to do that?  But here's proud Noah with his Sudanese pyramid & camel cake:


We take water polo lessons - enlarge the photo to see Noah's *attentive* face in the upper left corner.  


We draw hideous faces on heart balloons and buy nerdy matching family pajamas and take photos of ourselves (I command you to IGNORE the living room in furniture re-arrangement & painting disarray).



We still luvz our snow, TRUE STORY.


We go to Skyzone and learn embarrassing life lessons.  I was so excited for Skyzone to come to our area!   UNTIL I couldn't climb out of the foam pit without help, and then discovered the hard way that I couldn't even do normal jumping because …. ummmm… uhhhhh ….. I was lazy about doing my kegels.  Is that clear enough???  Tres embarrassing, let's just say that.  The 40s are NOT the new 30s and whoever said that is a big fat stinkin' LIAR who has never attempted jumping at Skyzone in their 40's.  On the plus side, Connor is a crazy wild man at Skyzone - here he is managing to wave at me mid-flip! 


Noah's no slouch at Skyzone, either.


On the other hand, Shelby IS sort of a slouch.  She doesn't jump into the foam pit.  She carefully crawls over to the side and then kind of ROLLS into it.  It's really kind of embarrassing.  Whose lame kid IS that, anyway??


We get our cars serviced - here's Noah posing with Mark's Porsch and my Ferrari. 



Okay, so unlike the snow, that is NOT a true story.  Our 11 year old Volkswagen was in the back and not out for showing off and photo ops, it's like the shop was embarrassed by our car or something!  Pffft.

We discover an alarming number of photos of pets in our February 2014 photos file on our computer.  What was I DOING taking all these pet photos??!?