Noah's 4th Birthday!....BUST (aka "A Parable Learned")

April 6 was Noah's 4th birthday! Yay and woohoo, right? I was soooo excited for this day. Let's see the progression from okay, then bad....and streaking on to worse (those of you who read my blog entry about Shelby's birthday in January are going to start wondering about my birthday planning skills - still want me to plan your 30th, Amy?!?).

Firs thing on Noah's 4th birthday, Noah makes an astonishing and very dismaying discovery (to him)...he has freckles!!! In the morning, he looks in my makeup mirror (up close and with full sunlight), and shrieks, "MOMMY! I HAVE POLKA DOTS ON MY FACE!!!!!" I nearly stab myself in the eye with my mascara, his shriek was so loud. And then my mascara was running anyway because I'm laughing so hard.

Click to see Noah's polka dots up close

On to the birthday party - once again, we didn't manage our time well enough to make the car cake that Noah wanted. So, the day before his birthday, we take him to Wegmans and let him choose his birthday cake. He chooses an orange-frosting-ed heart Easter cake. It goes smashingly with the grown-up racecar-themed tablecloth, plates, napkins, etc., that I'd already purchased (2 months earlier, believe it or not!). Oh well. HOWEVER, Connor wakes up sick and throwing up the previous night (as did I), so that was a damper on the party. But at least, at this point, Noah is happy! He likes all of his small presents and is excited at the thought of "The Big One" coming later in the day.

Happy times that won't be here again...

Our next plan is for our family to go see the new kids' movie, Monsters Vs. Aliens. But with Connor being sick, half of us have to stay home. Unfortunately, Noah chooses lucky Mommy to take him to the movie. Bad Mommy Confession Time: I HATE kids movies.

So, we go to the theater, plunk down $22 for the 3-D experience of Monsters Vs. Aliens (which Noah assured me he wanted), and another $20 or so for snacks. I manage to carry everything (Noah cannot assist me because he has his hands full with his new 5-inch triceratops friend that was a birthday gift from Connor, "Topsy") and we get situated. Because we don't see many movies (3 kids, remember?), darnit if I'm not going all out and getting popcorn, a HUGE Diet Coke, and Raisinettes for me. Plus my handbag, Noah's coat, my coat, and Noah's movie happy meal. So yeah, I'm carrying a LOT. We DO have time to take a cute picture of us wearing our groovy 3-D glasses.

Yes, we make 3-D look gooood

HOWEVER, Noah then decides he hates the glasses and refuses to wear them. I know that 3-D movies are blurry if you don't wear the glasses, but DARNIT, I am NOT moving all of us and our junk food and general crap into another movie theatre. Or if I have to, I'm making Noah see Fast & Furious (in retrospect, I should have done EXACTLY this - fast, noisy cars for Noah and yummy Vin Diesel for me, and this whoooole day would have been so much better). Anyway, I make Noah stay. And I have to pick up !@$%!$@ Topsy from the gross movie theatre floor at least a half dozen times, groping around in the dark.

Twenty minutes into the movie Noah starts standing up and complaining (loudly) that he wants to leave. I finally put down my popcorn & Diet Coke and hold Noah on my lap, hoping that he'll let me put the glasses on him and he'll enjoy the movie more. We make it another 20 minutes (Noah still sans glasses, however) before he starts yelping about leaving again. I give up, take 10 minutes to get UN-situated (though I am keeping my mostly uneaten popcorn and 75% remaining Diet Coke, even though I have to cart them throughout the whole mall with me). At least Noah has fun riding the Carousel!


Upon arriving home, we've saved Noah's BIG present for last. I've wanted to get the boys a big driving car for years now, and I finally talked Mark into getting one for Noah. He's obsessed with anything on wheels, and every time we go to Toys R Us the boys love to sit and play in every single car (even the Barbie ones). And usually we get nice, expensive gifts for Connor, and cheap out a little bit for Noah because he's so easily satisfied. But this year, I was determined to go all out for Noah. We even had to borrow the Lentz' Suburban and trailer to go pick it up (I ADORE my 40th birthday BMW X5 and it drives like a dream, but honestly, it's the most useless SUV ever invented).

So, I hide in the garage and Mark leads Noah out to the garage to lay eyes on the HUGE-BIGGER-THAN-YOU-PRESENT that we've been teasing Noah about all day. I'm hiding because I want to get that photo when he first sees it, that magical moment when he realizes he has the most FABULOUS gift in all of Ritchie family history! Here's how that turned out:

I know, right!??!?!?

He stares at it, then moves as far away as he can from it (again holding Topsy the Triceratops). He cries, "I don't like that car! I want this car!" and goes to stand by our SUV.

The standoff begins

In the interest of preserving these treasured family memories, I make Mark force Noah to sit in the car because I'm sure he'll love it once he sits in it. Well, he SCREAMS at the top of his lungs the entire time, clutching Topsy for dear life. We then put Connor in the driver's seat to drive Noah around. As Connor drives around the front yard, Noah screams even louder. I'm sure the neighbors thought we were torturing him. Noah shrieks, "It's too fast! My dinosaur is scared! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Why did all 3 of my kid birthdays this year end up with them crying!??!

Another gift Noah actually did like was his new Peter Pirate Pop Up jack-in-the-box toy. So does Shelby. So does Connor. After the cute photo below, all 3 of them fought over it all day long.

The obnoxious Peter Pirate Pop Up
(Hint: Start humming the tune to Pop Goes the Weasel.
Ha ha! Now it'll be stuck in your head, too! I shouldn't have to suffer alone, should I?

We aren't going out to our family dinner at Bonefish Grill (Noah's choice, despite Connor's best lobbying for Chuck E Cheese), as per our original plans, because Connor was still feeling kinda crummy. So we decide to do takeout from Olive Garden and I insist we all go together to get the food, even though Olive Garden is a 20 minute drive away from us. I love family together time, especially in a car! *snort* Especially when Noah brings his Peter Pirate Pop Up and we have to listen to that wind-up-toy music the whole way there, and on the way home listen to the fighting over it and the eventual THUNK as it is thrown and hits the floor, and the subsequent screaming about why we won't pick it up. Why did I insist on family together time when I could have escaped the kids and driven to Olive Garden myself (the long way), listening and singing to Mamma Mia the whole way there, you ask? I don't @!@# know!!!

So, yeah, with us over $400 poorer, Noah is now officially 4 years old. I suppose $3 of that wasn't wasted as it went toward paying for Topsy the Triceratops. And Connor's thrilled beyond words that he has a new magnificent driving car and it's not even close to his birthday or to Christmas (though he had a fit this morning because I wouldn't let him drive it to his bus stop). And we DID get our money's worth from the movie popcorn, 'cause I'm eating it right now as I'm typing - I knew it would be a long blog post and I would need major sustenance.

And friends, when I'm planning Noah's birthday next year, I need you to remind me of what I stated earlier - Noah is easily satisfied, and please tell me, "Estelle, remember the Parable of the $3 Topsy the Triceratops and the $342 Big Scary Green Car."

(Oh, and sorry about the Pop the Weasel tune. If you still have it in your head, just tune in now to Jamie's blog because she always has great music queued up!) *All the single ladies...de da da...yeah!*

For Grandpa & Daddy

Here's what we've been up to while Daddy's toiling away (ha!) in Africa and Grandpa is holding the fort down in Idaho.

Making some St. Patrick's Day cookies with Grandma:


The boys attended Pirate Academy and had the little-known favorite pirate snack...popcorn!



Noah wanted to wear glasses just like Grandma:


Shelby "playing" with dolls, much to Grandma's delight. If poking their eyes out counts as playing, then I guess that's what Shelby is doing:


And here's Grandma & the kiddos on our quarterly trip to the Roxbury, this time staying in the "Glamouroque" room, my favorite thus far! (and don't look too close at Shelby here, she recently discovered that her fingers fit nicely up her nose!)


The boys were surprised with a new puzzle/maze toy (in other words, a bribe to keep 'em quiet and somewhat behaved):


I suspect the biggest appeal of going to the Roxbury for the boys isn't the fun of the hotel, but the fact that they get to watch giant flat screen TVs in bed (since they are deprived and we have neither giant flat screen TVs nor TVs in bedrooms):


Oh, and by the way, Mark, you'll be happy to know that Connor wants his next room to be a "Glamouroque" room!

I thought he was sleeping...

I know, I know the Mommy rule! When they're too quiet, it means something is up. But when Noah is quiet around 3-4pm in the afternoon, it usually just means he's fallen asleep on the playroom couch. I didn't think I had anything to be concerned about.

Thank GOODNESS he didn't color on anything but himself. And thank goodness he's wearing long-sleeved and long-leg pajamas. And YES, Noah is still wearing pajamas in the afternoon. We have a major snow storm outside and I'm pretty sure we're not going anywhere.

And where the heck he found those pens, I have NO idea. I don't keep stuff like that in the playroom for a REASON! *sigh* But when there's a Noah, there's a way.


Noah couldn't be happier with himself. And now Connor is screaming that he doesn't get to do it to himself, too.

Noah is now screaming because I took all the pens away.

And Mark just called to tell me he's working late. Crap. Ola.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update 2 hours later: Yes, I gave in to the screaming. I *think* the pens are water-soluble. And yes, today was boys haircut today (evidenced by Noah's greasy strands and Connor's mop) but the snow saved the boys from that torture. And yes, Connor has purple fingernail polish on (in addition to the purple pen tattoo art, but at least they match - and that is SOOOOO Connor). At least Connor wasn't in pajamas! (Although those clothes ARE yesterday's clothes that he left on the floor instead of putting in his laundry basket, but oh well, it's been one of those WHATEVER days.)


And Mark's bringing home Taco Bell nachos for me, and our nice neighbor snowplowed our driveway (we have 20 inches!!!). And since Mark does kid bathtime, the kid cleanup will be his job. I'll be enjoying my nachos and watching last night's Hells Kitchen. And I've come to realize that the second photo of Noah (full body) is going to make me laugh out loud every time I see it for the rest of my life. Life isn't so bad, I guess!

Valentine Faces Only a Grandma Could Love

Once again I am going to astound you with my amazing child portrait photography skills! Prepare yourselves!


The cherubs are holding their new stuffed animals from Grandma's Valentine's package. Noah named his monkey "Monketey" (although yesterday it was Dokey, so who really knows), Connor's new whale is named "Maui" (despite the fact that we already have a bird named Maui), and Shelby's pink hippo is "ddaaaaa".


This is the only photo where you can see the boys' matching Valentine shirts. Hey, *I* think they're cute when they dress alike and I'm going to keep doing that for as long as I'm able to hold them down and force clothes on them (and/or bribe them with video game time or whatever).


I realize that the stripes of the outfits (and Noah's mismatched socks!) contrast nicely with our plaid couch...yeah, that was planned, all for maximum professional artistic impact. Yes, I am THAT good.


No, Shelby is still not crawling, and yes, she still hates tummy time (most likely the two conundrums are linked, eh?). But this was the only way to show off her cute Valentine's outfit. She complained loudly and longly.

On a high note, Mark surprised us and created our Valentine's celebration this year with a Hawaiian theme, so here's our tropical food spread. Yummo.


We then spent the rest of the day shopping (toilet paper, dog food - fun Valentine stuff like that). That wasn't really in Mark's tropical Valentine plans, but hey, it was Saturday and things needed to get done. And honestly, we weren't going to even try to top the oh-so-successful photographic session or the fantastic raspberry cake breakfast! HOWEVER, unbeknownst to the kids, after they went to bed Mommy & Daddy had their own special Valentine date with fondue in the living room while watching one of our favorite romantic movies, Notting Hill. *sigh*

Typical Saturday morning

Connor joined Mark in doing his usual Jillian Michaels workout, but talked Mark into doing Level 3 (the hardest kick-bum workout!).


Connor is such a little stud-muffin!


Mark's not bad either, given that after simply watching this workout from the couch, I felt nauseous (sympathy pains, you know!), and Mark made it all the way through!


To his credit, Connor made it about halfway through the workout! When Noah asked Connor why he stopped, Connor replied, "Because I'm tired!" To which Noah (laying on the couch with his blanket, eating a pancake and wearing a pirate eye patch) said, "Well, I'm tired, too!" *everyone roll their eyes now*

This is a typical slice of life of the Ritchies: Mark & Connor up early and dressed and working hard, Shelby in the middle of it all and curious, and Mommy & Noah observing (And documenting. And providing commentary.) from the couch, still in our pajamas (where we'll still be 6 hours from now - hey, it's Saturday, okay!!?).

Ahhhh, life is good.

Happy First Birthday, Shelby!

Ohhhhhhhhh I can't believe Shelby is one!!! Thursday, January 29 was her first birthday! *weeps* My last little baby can't really be called a baby anymore.... *sigh* Of course, she shows no interest in walking and doesn't even crawl yet (she's still doing the Shelby Scoot on her tushie), and she refuses to give a sippy cup the time of day. So I guess she's doing her best to remain in babyland...? Anyway, on to the festivities...


The day started out well enough, communing with daddy (whom she adores!)...Mark said he'd never have a Daddy's girl, but when Shelby sets her cute little sights on you, what can you do? She's definitely a Daddy's girl, and Mark calls her his "little Sparkle."


Then we all went to the mall...I decided that she needed more presents, and well darnit, Shelby DOES need some clothes (really! because she's wearing holes in the tushies of all her pants!), and geez, much as I hate to buy clothes for Shelby (ha HA!), we had to do it. So we picked her up some cute clothes and a couple of cute toys - she loves finger puppets and I had to get the doll with pink hair because it was the cutest doll I'd ever seen. Shelby, however, was NOT very enthused about that doll, but I'm certain someday she will be. In the meantime, the doll looks PERFECT in Shelby's room. So there. Form is more important than function (Mark and I's never-ending argument, scientist vs. artist).

We had lunch at Johnny Rockets. Yum yum. Just kidding, it's NOT my favorite restaurant, but if Connor and Mark vote for Uno's one more blasted time I will DEFECT from this family. I can't wait until Shelby is old enough to vote in our family restaurant debates and she can sway the vote AWAY from Uno's. Anyway, Shelby DID enjoy the french fries (but not the hat).


And of course, what trip to the mall would be complete without riding the carousel...look at this photo of Shelby riding....could she be ANY CUTER?!?!? (hint: click on it to make it bigger)


Upon arriving home, we began prep work for her family birthday party. And this was pretty much Shelby's expression the rest of the day..."whatever." Our efforts were definitely not appreciated.

"Whatever."

Usually she adores her brothers, but today...not so much...

"Whatever."

And here's where it got really bad. Mommy got the bright idea to take a picture of Shelby with her cake (and yes, it's a storebought cake, Mark had been gone all week and everyone else, including me, had colds, so her multi-tiered princess cake we'd originally planned will be saved for her 2nd birthday). Anyway, isn't it a pretty cake? HOWEVER, I'd lit the candle BEFORE I put it up next to her, stupidly thinking, "oh a little candlelit glow by Shelby's face will be so pretty..."

"Oh, finally something neat..."

And yeah, you know what happened next...Shelby immediately went for the the flame and instead of candlelit glow we ended up with a black, burned, blistered finger!

"What the @^&#!^!# MOMMY! What did you GIVE ME????!?!??
And why are you STILL TAKING PHOTOS MOMMY!?!??!!??!?!"

After first aid was administered to Shelby's poor little finger, she actually sat and GLARED at the cake for the rest of the "party."

"Whatever."

At this point, I became very concerned that we had NO GOOD PHOTOS to document Shelby's first birthday! So, Mark and Connor and Noah had to put on quite the dancing and singing and jumping show (behind me) for us to finally get this smile out of her.


But what a sweet smile it was! And THAT's the one that will go in the scrapbooks (assuming I ever do those). Shelby never has to know what her mommy did to her on her very first little birthday.

Happy birthday, sweet little pink girlie!

"Whatever, mommy. You better make darn sure that my second birthday ROCKS!"

Spongebob, Spongebob, how does Connor love you? Let us count the ways...

Today was Connor’s 6th birthday! And it become sort of an ode to Spongebob...

• Spongebob hat
• Spongebob-yellow ribbon to wrap around new huge dolphin
• Spongebob plates
• Spongebob cups
• Spongebob napkins
• Spongebob decorations
• Spongebob cupcakes for school
• Spongebob cake for home
• Spongebob balloon
• Spongebob macaroni
• Spongebob fruit gummies
• Spongebob Leapfrog game
• Spongebob Wii game rental
• Spongebob Wii game purchase with overnight delivery from Amazon when stupid %^@#$%^ Spongebob game rental is IMPOSSIBLE to do!!
• Spongebob pajamas

In other words, eat your heart out, Mark. Snorkeling in Maui does NOT top Spongebob, no way no how buster.

How pathetic does that sound? Did I convince ANYBODY?

Despite the overwhelming Spongebob theme, the big winners of the day were Connor's new Quadrilla Rail marble set (to go with his 5 other marble run building sets) and his huge, new Connor-sized dolphin (which he named Birthday). And we actually had fun doing some Wipeout moves (Connor's OTHER favorite TV show).

With all of that fun stuff, Spongebob was largely ignored. I might have actually overdone Spongebob! Up until recently, Connor wasn’t even allowed to watch Spongebob but then it became the “forbidden” TV show and he’d sneakily change the channel and watch it. Anyway, I finally gave up. Welcome to our home, Spongebob. You ARE kinda funny, sometimes, I have to admit.

What the heck is a Spongebob???

I also took Shelby & Noah and a truckload of Spongebob cupcakes to Connor's Kindergarten class, where Shelby was the big hit! Those kids FLOCKED around her, showed her their artwork, shared their cupcakes with her, mobbed her, etc. One kid even asked if Connor could bring her to school tomorrow!



We did have several screaming episodes revolving around brother "issues," Wii game frustrations, marble toy collapse frustrations, not getting to go to Chuck E Cheese, etc. And to top it all off, Connor has managed to get his first serious cold in about…6 years!....on his birthday. Which has contributed to pretty much nonstop…screaming. We're all doing it here today.

And here I thought yesterday couldn’t be worse (which involved the dogs eating my carefully crafted Subway sandwich while I was refereeing a boys’ fight, and a cat biting Shelby in the back of her head when Shelby was already screaming about the boys shoving her away from their Hot Wheels cars, which she loves). BUT basically, having to figure out the stupid Spongebob Wii game (yes, it took 3 hours, I’m a Wii moron or something) with Connor screaming in my ear nearly the entire time, made yesterday seem like bliss.

And oh yes, did I mention that my husband is out of town???? Oh no, he’s not just out of town, he’s IN MAUI!!!!!

Yeah, I’m a little bitter.

Happy Birthday Connor, you little Krabbie Patty.

UPDATE: Mark just called to inform me that he spent the morning at some botanical gardens discussing flowers for 4 hours. That’s my idea of serious torture….botanical gardens and actually having to talk about plants. Yeah, Spongebob Wii isn’t looking so bad right now…and bedtime IS only 1.5 hours away…it’s the most wonderful time of the day….the time when the little kids go away….YAY!